Gay and Lesbian Families
Our education and consultation services help gay and lesbian adoptive parents before, during and years after adoption. Although some do not believe gay and lesbian adoption is any different than non-gay adoption, we have experience working with many non traditional families and have learned a great deal about what is different and unique.
Some gay and lesbian parents are particularly sensitive about being judged as competent parents. This is an understandable reactivity, as many gays and lesbians have been questioned by outsiders about their suitability to be parents. We work with you to become more confident and empowered in your decisions.
During the preadoption phase we help you look at the variety of choices and the implications for each. For instance, we examine how the origin of the child (international, domestic), the age of the child, and how the race, nationality and cultural identity effect parenting. We help you learn to decipher the rules about "playing the game" with adoption agencies, so that you will not be discouraged in your process when you are challenged by homophobic policies and processes.
If going the "domestic route" we help you talk about potential racial and class differences that are common in adoptive families. We talk about what it means to have an open, semi-open or closed adoption and the implications for each. We help you realistically assess and understand your own biases so that your choices are well considered and so that you can explain your choices to you children as they mature. Our experience proves that your thoughtfulness during this phase of adoption forms the foundation of your style that will continue forward as you raise your children. We help you with the facts, feelings and realities so that your choices can be the best possible.
Post adoption consultations involve us helping you with inevitable questions from your adoptive children regarding when and how to speak with kids about sexual orientation, biological origins and cultural identities. We help you be prepared to answer your children’s questions that arise at each stage of their social and psychological development.
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